Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
