I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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