Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
