Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize