Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
