I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
