I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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