Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
