there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
