Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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