i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
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The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
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I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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