at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
