Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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