I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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