I wanna passion pit in your ass
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
