thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
not ubering you a puppy
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
