I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize