At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize