This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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