Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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