How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
