If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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