so that wasnt chicken after all
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
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i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
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I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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