Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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