These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
