Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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