the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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