yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
