I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he shaved USA in his pubs
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Randomize
