Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
