ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize