Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
