I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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