i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
