You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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