So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
