but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
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at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
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Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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