i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
4 words: hood of his car
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
