made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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