you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
