My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
