I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
