Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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