Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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