he thought i was a dude.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
