I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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