HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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