omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Also, beer. Big fan.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
