You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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