He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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