so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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