My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
