Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
