You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
