I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
