Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
