You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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