So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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