Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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