You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
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