hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
They took my balls.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Randomize
